Destroying Insecurities in your Relationship

For a single girl, Solomon was the type of guy a girl would melt over.

His future bride, the Shulamite, mentions a few of the many ways that Solomon would make her go boy crazy! His love, or ‘Dowd’ in the Hebrew, speaks about the butterfly feelings she felt whenever they would interact with one another. His fragrance, probably made her heart thump so many more times quicker than usual to the point where she could not stand. And then there was the mention of his name, bringing to remembrance not only his face and fragrance, but also the amazing character of a man that he appeared to be causing her to have to fall on her knees.

This was a deep crush, and her feelings were strong. Strong enough to the point where she yells ‘Draw me away’ and desires to be touched by him by way of a kiss.

Solomon made a huge impression on the Shulamite. The unfortunate thing according to her is that there were many other unmarried women that had been crushing over Solomon and so she found herself competing for his love. The Shulamite mentions that the Virgins love Solomon, or ‘Ahab’ in Hebrew, meaning that they desire after, or breathe after Solomon. And the Daughters of Jerusalem are in agreement with her yelling ‘We will run after you (Solomon)!’

I picture the Shulamite sighing as she says with a frown on her face, ‘Rightly do they love you’ because the topic of conversation quickly switches from the competition to have Solomon to her insecurities.

She begins to talk about her dark skin, indicating that she was a low class blue collar field worker. She felt that she didn’t have a chance with Solomon, a man with Pale skin, indicating that he was an upper class successful rich guy. I can imagine her asking herself. ‘Why would Solomon even consider choosing me as his bride? All the girls want him, even the nice pale ones, I don’t have a chance.’

But Solomon took notice in her. Solomon dug her just as much as she dug him. And the insecurities she felt about herself and whether or not she was good enough for him, he addresses it.

She was insecure about who she was and her dark looks, and he says, ‘O fairest among women!’. Basically saying, ‘You are the beauty of beauties!’

And so we begin to see the relationship blossom between Solomon and the Shulamite.

There will be many times in our relationships where our loved one will begin to feel insecure. Times where they will feel like they have to compete for YOUR heart and YOUR love. Competing against people or even competing against your priorities. It is extremely vital that we put those insecurities to death by reminding our loved one that they are our priority, and that we love them. That there will never be any other person or thing that will steal your heart away because you have already given them your heart.

One more thing worth mentioning is that not only did Solomon put to death the Shulamite’s insecurities by his words, but with his actions he made sure that those insecurities did not resuscitate. He did that by showing her so much love.

We ought to be sure to do the same thing, proving our love for the other by stirring up love not only with words but by action. Putting to death the insecurity of our loved one and doing our part to make sure that those insecurities stay dead.