Jaime's Blog

Socially Awkward

2012-01-30T13:02:00.001-08:00

Have you ever felt left out?

One of the most challenging things for me is hanging out with a group of people. I always am the one in the group that listens to what every one else has to say, laugh along, but rarely say a thing.

I've always tried to force a conversation out, but would not know what to talk about, or even how to start when I have something to say.

Over the years I've purposely started to withdraw from these situations and from people for fear of social awkwardness. I don't make the effort, and at times I just feel like staying home and watching TV, hiding behind my remote control.

Then the conviction starts to hit me. God reminds me of Jeremiah who didn't know what to say, yet God promises to give him the words. Then He reminds me of Moses who stuttered when He spoke yet with the words 'Let my people go', God used Him powerfully to haunt the mind of the Pharaoh. Then finally, He reminds me of John the baptist who was pretty much Tarzan in carnet, wearing animal skins, homeless in the wilderness, eating bugs with honey, a man who was considered a weirdo by society's standards.

I think in the end, what God did through John is what gives me the push to try, because as weird as he was, there eventually came a day where he spoke, and for whatever reason people began to hear, and respond to what John had to say. They did not understand why they were so drawn by this weirdo, but looking at the big picture we get to see that it was God drawing them to the truth that He was speaking through John. Although John was weird, God wasn't looking to use someone accepted by society to use, God only looked at the heart that loved Him fully.

This has been a huge encouragement to me personally, especially while I think about the plans God has shared with me about my future. Most plans I don't even understand how they will work because I'm so shy. I think about how I'm so awkward when I am in a group, how its hard for me to make friends and how I rarely fit in when in a group.

But with the reminders of Jeremiah, Moses, and John, maybe God is trying to say that most of us socially awkward people aren't supposed to fit in because we're meant to stand out to the Glory of God.

I once heard a song that said, "I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future." Those words I hold onto daily as I walk by faith, making an effort to make myself available to be used by God, even though it does not make sense to me why God would choose to use someone as socially awkward as me.

Grandpa

2012-01-04T02:03:00.001-08:00

It was about a week ago that I got the call at 6am. My dad had let me know that my grandpa had passed away earlier in the morning. I thanked my dad for letting me know and hung up the phone.

For the next 24 hours I pushed the news out of my head, avoiding grief and avoiding over thinking it all. I avoided talking to my family because I had fears.

As I was driving to work a day after hearing the news, I had some quiet time. I drove pass a Burger King and that did it for me. It reminded me of the last moments I spent with my Grandpa. My brother and I had driven from Downey, CA to Juarez, Mexico (across the boarder from El Paso, TX) to pick up my Grandpa from the airport and get him a visa.

When we picked him up, he walked out of the plane wearing the beige sobrero he loved to wear with his jeans and tucked in button up long sleeve shirt. He welcome us with open arms, he called me mijo.. i know he saw the look on our faces, he knew we were happy to see him, i could tell because he smiled back.

We asked him if he would like lunch, he said yes. We asked what he wanted to eat, he said he wanted a 'torta Americano', we had no idea what he was talking about. We took him to a Mexican restaurant and ordered him a torta (Mexican sandwich). We asked if that's what he wanted, he just shrugged. The next day as we were driving around town, we drive pass a Burger King, he pointed at the sign and yelled 'torta Americano!' Turns out he was talking about a hamburger the whole time. We ate at BK, and he practically inhaled the burger. I had a lot of fun with my Grandpa the next few weeks, but that memory always stood out in my mind and would be a story I would share constantly about him...

So as I drove passed the Burger King the day after getting the news of his passing, it stunned me, and I could no longer hide the feelings I had over the loss. I gripped the wheel tight and I was overwhelmed with anger. I wasn't mad at God, I wasn't mad at anyone, I was just mad.. and I sobbed.

I really loved my Grandpa, and in my mind for whatever reason I believed that he would always be around because he always was. I loved that he was interested in everything I was doing in church, I loved that he would hear me when I told him about Jesus and what it takes to get to heaven, I loved that he was always available to talk to even though I didn't make myself as available. I loved his grace and loved that his love was unconditional not only for me but for all of his kids and grand kids.

Anger overwhelmed me because I kept thinking about how wrong death is. And as a believer of God and the bible I couldn't help but think that it is not supposed to be this way. When God created this earth and everything in it, His vision and desire was for it to be eternal. What interfered with that plan was Genesis 3, when the devil tricked Eve into eating of the tree of knowledge of good and evil and Eve gave to Adam to eat. God told Adam not to eat of this tree, and so after God confronted Adam and Eve, God presented them with the consequences of their actions. Some of those are pain, suffering, and death. I couldn't help but think, if they had just listened to God, my grandpa would still be here, and not just here, but healthy and well.

I believe though that Jesus grieves with us. When His good friend Lazarus died, He wept with Lazarus sisters who had said to Jesus, 'If you were only here, He would still be alive'.

I love so much though, that Jesus recognizing that everyone will die because of sin, that He died for our sins so that we get another chance at eternal life, and this time in heaven. I pray that God brought everything I told my grandpa back to remembrance before he passed, so that he would have responded to what Jesus did for him, repented in his heart and gave his heart fully to Jesus. It's all it takes to get to heaven.

I believe and know that even though my heart is hurting over the loss, my mom, aunts, uncles, and Grandma are dealing with it a lot harder. I would like to ask all of you to pray for my family. And a huge thank you to everyone who has been there, especially my awesome church who never ceases to amaze me in the ways of 'being there' for me when life gets hard. You guys are such a blessing.

When Plans Fail

2011-11-15T08:56:00.001-08:00

Have you ever been in a situation and wondered how you got there? Have you ever wondered if the life you planned that put you in pretty tough circumstances was due to the fact that you have fallen out of God's will?

From the time we moved to Billings I have wondered this every day, as I make decisions that my wife and I felt in our hearts were good. We made these decisions with our hearts motivated to please Jesus with the choice, but we end up falling into a deeper hole and hit a harder wall. We don't understand. We knew that the timing for our move was wrong, but we knew we had to move, we knew the Lord wanted us to go.

How can hearts being motivated to do the right thing, and minds that plan while being inspired by the Spirt, fail over and over again?

When Mary and Joseph had to take the long trip from Nazareth to Bethelhem, the timing was so bad. Mary was very pregnant, pretty close to giving birth to Jesus. I can imagine Joseph and Mary, lying down every night talking about what they are going to do if Mary's water breaks. Joseph tells Mary, "I remember when I lived in Bethelhem, there was a Hotel, there was an Inn there and we could totally get a room there and deal with it. No one ever stayed there anyway so there would definitely be room!" And so they both agree and plan to with one heart and one mind to rent a room at the Inn.

The day comes, they arrive in Bethelhem and sure enough Mary's water breaks. Joseph then gets excited and tells Mary, "Yeah, alright we planned for this! Let's head over to the Inn and get a room!" Joseph then takes them over, they try to get a room but something unexpected happens.. No Vacancy, the Inn is full..

And so the only thing someone had to offer for Joseph and Mary to sleep in and also have their baby, was someone's garage, where someone's animals were parked on a cold night.

Mary and Joseph are entrusted to raise the Messiah, and I can imagine them sitting together in the Manger with tears in their eyes, having mixed emotions. They are stoked to do God's work, but they wonder why they were where they are if they were doing God's work.

We get the misconception that ministry is easy, but forget that being in God's will doesnt mean that He will bless you materially. I've heard it many times said before that where God guides, He provides and I've seen it to be true, but have been learning lately that He only provides for the needs that He sees fit for you, not the needs that you see fit for yourself. And I guess God saw fit for Joseph and Mary to have their baby and stay in a cold Manger.

As Mary and Joseph were lying there bummed out, wondering if they did something wrong, wondering if leaving Nazareth for a dumb census was a mistake, all of a sudden Shepards slowly show up one by one, wanting to see Jesus, whom they had heard about. In the midst of their terrible circumstances that they did not plan to be in, God was already doing the work He desired to do through them, as they introduced the world to Jesus.

Billings has become our Bethelhem. We have run into many 'Theres no room at the Inn' situations where things have not gone to planned and we have ended up in mangers wondering if we had made a mistake. But deep in my heart I know that as hard as this is, in the midst of our pain and doubts, God will one by one send people to us to have us introduce them to Jesus.

God wants our plans to fail sometimes, even plans that we felt He was ok with, but remember that when there is no room at the Inn, God will unexpectedly begin to use you.

Trust Jesus, don't give up when it gets hard, hold on.

Our First Week in Billings, Montana

2011-10-22T11:37:00.000-07:00

So today marks the end of our first week in Billings, MT. It's been an insane, grueling, and also fruitful adventure.

From the start of Monica and I packing our first box, nothing had been going according to the way that we planned, and we faced a whole lot of obstacles. We had made a bigger move before from California to Kalispell, MT which went so smooth, but this one was tuff.

By the time we got our UHAUL loaded up and found a way to get the rest of our stuff down to Billings that didn't fit in the UHAUL, we thought that the worse was over. Riding out into the sunset (literally!), we left the Flathead around 5pm ish, ready to settle into our new apartment in Billings.

2am, we pull into our new place excited. The Landlords had left the keys in our mailbox so that we would be able to get in. I grabbed the keys, opened up the door, turned on the lights, and then.. it happened. There were holes in the walls, the carpet and the floors were greasy. Parts from the stove were missing and the fridge door was broken. There was still food left in the freezer, which was not cleaned. There were huge spiders in the living room and dead bugs all around the apartment. The cabinets in the kitchen and bathroom were starting to mold, the shower door in the bathroom didn't roll open. There were still left over clothes on the floor from the previous tenants. The condition did not feel livable. Monica and I decided to stay at a hotel for the night while we thought about and prayed about what to do. In the end we decided to have a talk with the Landlords and terminate the lease.

A few days later Matt and I met with the Landlords and discussed our concerns. In the end we had decided to terminate the lease and have the Landlords keep 1/2 of the Security deposit that we had already paid in advance (which I would advise no one ever do until you or a friend has checked it out while the property is not occupied).

We ended up putting our stuff in storage, and have been looking for places to move into and looking for work for the past week. Looking for a place has been stressful, no apartment complex would allow us to move in without an income (which is understandable). I shifted my focus to finding work, and I thought that in order to find work I needed to have a mailing address. So Monica and I had decided to get a PO Box. That didn't work out. Post office told us that in order to have a PO Box we needed to have a home address. A worker at the Post Office told me to sign up for General Delivery in order to get my mail, stating, "That's what homeless people do here". It dawned on me then, dang, Monica and I are homeless. This had stressed us out, and had given us a couple of rough days, but God has been teaching us so many lessons throughout all this that we are grateful for. We have sensed Him there, and there have been at least two moments throughout the week where I seriously thought about giving up and going back to Kalispell.

Things began to turn around though recently, and we sense that we are in a bit of a transition. I had an interview yesterday that went really well, and I was offered the job within 3 hours of the interview. I start in a couple of weeks.

We are still looking for a place, and we hope to have one by next week. Now that we have an income coming in with my job, it should be easier to find a place. Keep that in prayer for us please.

If there were any major lessons that I have learned from this is that being all in for Jesus will have times where you will be challenged beyond what you can bear. People have said that God will never give you anything you can't handle, which is not true, and people take that specific scripture out of context. God will allow you to go through things you can't handle, but that's ok, because it will force us to draw to Him the way a scared and hurting child draws to his loving father. We have been in situations that we have not been able to handle and were so close to tapping out on, but we have also had the honor to draw closer to God, which has been better than a home. We have learned that we do not get rest from having our own bed and place to go home to, but that Jesus is our rest and that we should not even put our beds above Him.

In the past week we have been staying with Tiffany's parents, and we have been so grateful for them and pray that God blesses them in huge ways. We have also connected with a Pastor starting a new Calvary Chapel in Billings who we have appreciated for being so available to us. He and his wife are awesome. Our Bio-Parents in Cali and our Montana Parents the Gates have been so supportive and encouraging throughout all this and we are thankful. We are grateful for the many text messages/tweets/FBpost of encouragement and prayers. I'm so grateful for the phone conversations that I have had with friends throughout all this. I'm personally grateful for my awesome wife, who had knocked sense into my head when I was one minute away from reserving a UHAUL truck to drive us back to Kalispell that very day.

If I could pass anything on from this experience, I would just say that if God calls you to it, stick with it. Don't give up when it gets hard. It's beneficial to suffer for Christ sake and have faith in the fact that as He refines you, it will minister to others in the long run as God begins to use you as a vessel for Him after He has prepared you. Trust that Jesus is drawing you closer to Him in the process, and is making your heart to be much more like Him. Even when you are broken, don't give up, don't tap out, endure. It'll strengthen your love for Him, and you'll experience His love throughout.

#allin #billings

Losing

2011-10-18T17:01:00.001-07:00

4 servants of Job one after another broke the bad news to Job that he had lost all that he had. Job was grieving, but did not curse God, he fell down and worshipped Him.

God recommended Job to Satan for this trial, because God called Job to this trial. God called Job righteous. Job had a heart of gold, and even a heart of gold can hurt and can lose. Job was blessed because of the heart God worked into Job.

Blessings are determined by the work that God does in your heart to be more like Jesus, blessings are not determined by how much of the material things you have. Money can't put you at peace in situations that money can't fix, but a heart like Jesus that God works into a believer's heart can bring a peace that passes understanding.

God I know You are here, and I thank You that I have You and Your grace, even if that is all I have left. I thank You that I still have my wife and yes, even my cat. Naked I came into this world, naked I go out into an eternity in heaven where because of Jesus, I will be rich at heart. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Billings, Montana

2011-09-06T19:16:00.000-07:00

Just last night, Monica and I got back from a trip to Billings, Montana. We had a great time hanging out with our friends Matt and Tiffany Bonner and enjoyed very much the company of Tiffany's parents and cats as well.

We ate a lot of ice cream during this trip, which I'm sure is going to quickly become a tradition of ours anytime we are hanging out, being that it's always our desert of choice. We did a lot of fun things, but Monica and I also did a lot of praying while in Billings.

One of the reasons for taking this trip, besides visiting our good friends, was also to survey the land and see if the Lord would have us make the move from Kalispell to Billings. To be honest, Monica and I wrestled more with this decision than when we decided to move from California to Kalispell. To us, it didn't make sense to have to leave a place that we believed God had called us to stay at for a while. I have always said though, ever since we moved here, that we really did not know if we were going to be here long and that God may call us to leave, I guess we just did not expect that to happen so soon..

We spent all Saturday being driven around the city by Tiffany, and I was personally overwhelmed with the size of Billings. It had been maybe over a year since I had been in a big city with traffic, with so many stores and so many people. A part of me wanted to crawl back into the shell that I called Kalispell Montana, living the slow paced life that I had gotten used to. I could not help but think about how the pace of this city was so fast, everyone was in a hurry, it reminded me a lot of California.

We drove around to various parts of Billings, looking for a place that we might be able to rent but everything we saw was out of our price range.

By the end of Saturday night I could not help but think that this could not work and that it felt nearly impossible to take on the task of moving from Kalispell to Billing for the new Fresh Life Campus. God quickly reminded me though, that when the Israelites surveyed the land, all felt it would be impossible to take on because of the giants they saw.. all except for 2. The 2 Israelites believed in God's words when He said that He would give them the land, so the 2 Israelites believed that this battle could be won, that they could overcome the giants with His help, and that the land would be theirs. These two were Joshua and Caleb. In my mind I was thinking of the circumstances being the giants, and how Matt and Tiffany were Joshua, and I could not help but wonder that through this story God was trying to tell me that Monica and I could be Caleb, along with the many that will take the step of faith in moving to Billings for this campus.

The next morning, we woke to watch a very inspiring message given by Pastor Levi, basically talking about praying and asking God to cause the sun to stand still so that we have the chance to complete the task He had called us to do even if there's a risk of the sun setting before we can accomplish it. This message spoke volumes to me, but what God used to really jolt my heart to really take this radical step of faith was a vision that He gave me while we prayed at the end of the message.

The vision itself, is basically a vision for the Solis Household, what God expects of the Solis Household, which is basically divided into 3 points.

1. Be Willing to Leave: Jesus reminded me of the story of the guy He told to follow Him, and how the guy responded by saying that he wanted to bury his father first. Many, including myself, believe that his father was not dead, and that this guy was simply making an excuse to stay behind and not follow Jesus. Some speculate that just maybe this guy wanted to stay behind so that he could inherit his' dads money, thus making him financially stable and make it 'safe' for him to follow Jesus, with him being able to afford travel. Jesus responded to this by saying, 'Let the dead bury their own'. Circumstances like being financially stable or even having a secure job cannot be reasons to hold us back, we must be willing to leave the comfortable and 'safeness' if Jesus is calling us to. We must keep the perspective that our security is in Jesus and not the stuff of this world like money, work, apartments. We must be willing to Leave when Jesus says, 'Go'.

2. Be Willing to Mobilize: Once we leave and decide to follow Jesus, we also have to keep in mind that just as Jesus said, 'Foxes have holes, birds have nest, but the Son of Man has no place to rest His head' we also do not have a place to lay our heads on this earth. We have to understand that our greater citizenship is in Heaven, and that we are pilgrims passing through on this earth. The Foxes and Birds have homes here on earth, their holes and their nest, but our permanent residence is in Heaven, not here. So with that understanding, we believe that God does not want us to settle but instead continue moving as well as He pleases, understanding that the cities we want to hold on to will eventually burn. In the end if we were mobile, we will not have regrets about holding on to the things that will eventually pass away.

3. Be Willing to Live out the Great Commission: We have to keep in mind that Jesus is pursuing His 100th Sheep, while leaving behind the 99 Sheep who are safe and well taken care of. In the Parable of the Lost Sheep, Jesus points out that the Shepherd LEFT in order to pursue the Lost Sheep. So if we are willing to leave, and we are willing to be mobile, Jesus through us will find His lost Sheep and bring them home. There are many Lost Sheep scattered across the world, and they will not be reached unless we leave, are mobile, and are available for God to use us to reach these Sheep. After all, this is what it is about.

While in Billings I definitely sensed that God needed to impact that community for Him. I sensed a lot of pain and anger, I sensed a lot of ignorance toward Jesus Himself. I sensed deeply that this city needed Jesus. And we would love nothing more than to be apart of this launch in Billings.

Everyday we lean more and more toward a yes answer, and as of right now we are Snakebirding our way through figuring out how this is going to work. We will pray and ask God to make the Sun stand still so that we may do what He is calling us to do, and we expect to see God send down many giant hail stones to knock out the giants that seem impossible to lay down flat on their backs dead.

We would definitely appreciate the prayers for us, this Campus, for Matt and Tiffany, for laborers at this campus, and the staff in general at Fresh Life. A part of me feels like this will be a challenge, but with God, all things He wills will come to pass, and there's no stopping Him.

***UPDATE: We have decided to move to Billings***

4th Campus Announcement from fresh life church on Vimeo.

Fear, Kids Ministry, and a Good God

2011-08-30T08:41:00.001-07:00

I used to get really bad anxiety attacks. When the attacks first began, they gradually pulled me away from my responsibilities in this world. Leaving work early because of the attacks eventually turned into not showing up to work at all, and I also eventually dropped out of school. It got so bad to the point where I did not leave my bedroom for 3 months, I was stuck.

If you have never had an anxiety attack, you might be wondering what it feels like and what would make an attack so bad that it would completely stun your life. The best way to describe the feeling is that when an attack comes, you get the same feeling you get when you are falling and you panic for a split second, only the feeling last anywhere from 20-30 minutes while having an attack, and they come for absolutely no reason at all.

After getting an attack, you also have a tendency to avoid places you had previously had an attack because you believe another will come if you go back to what you now consider an 'unsafe zone'.

They were terrible times, but I am grateful for them because God used it to get my attention, and to also magnify the Scripture 'When I am weak, then I am strong' in my life.

Many who knew me before these attacks, knew that I lacked goals and passion in my life. I was boring and did not have vision. Many who know me now know that in the midst of these attacks Jesus reached out to me and I responded. The encounter was so intense that it had injected such a passion in me for Him. I can't think to live my life any other way than to live for Him because of the intensity of the moment I met Him. He slowly got me out of the bedroom that I was stuck in and although I was experiencing anxiety attacks occasionally, I knew He was with me and would be faithful to comfort me. I eventually began to take trips to different states, all the while leaning on Him as He assured me that He was there when fear fell upon me.

Coming to and serving Jesus though, did not come without it's challenges, especially when I started getting involved in ministry.

After I was laid off from my job I headed straight to my church in Downey California to speak to one of the pastors for counsel. I let him know of all the concerns I had about losing a job. He had asked me what I believed God was calling me to do, I had let him know that I believe that I was called to be a Pastor. He let me know that I ought to start small, and asked me to join the kids ministry at the church. I was hesitant, nervous, and took the time to pray and think about it. I was so worried that the kids would not like me, but even more worried that I would not be able to last 2 hours in a classroom without getting an anxiety attack.

Eventually, I signed up and was invited to help in the 1st grade class. When I started helping out, I would have to step out every few minutes for air because I felt the attacks coming. I couldn't breath and I was terrified.

Before you know it though, I had stumbled into having my own class to teach. I would get anxiety attacks during every class, every week. I would have the kids ministry office phone number on hand to call someone over during an attack so that I could step out. I would show up late every week because I was having an attack, and I would call out often and sometimes just not show up because of the attacks. It was a downer for sure, and I was so disappointed in myself for feeling so much that I let down the kids ministry.

God again though, was faithful and met me where I was. God had reminded me somewhere along the way of the intense love He had for me and the kids that I served weekly in my class. He let me know that if I did not love the kids the way He loves these kids, then I could not minister to them. At this point I had to make a choice, love them and be there for them, or love me and worry of my own needs?

I decided on loving them the way Christ loves them, and it made all the difference in the world. I fell in love not only with these kids, but with people in general, and the more I served them and loved them the less the anxiety attacks came.

Fear tried to overtake me and stun me, but in end His love won. I guess the reason why I write this blog is to let you know that God truly does part the Red Sea. He makes the impossible possible. I believed with all my heart that I would be stuck in a room for the rest of my life, fearing going to work or getting married one day. But He made it all happen, He made it all work.

Do you feel stuck? Do you feel discouraged? Let me tell you that God is good, and I don't say He is good because I have been told that, but because He has shown me Himself. He will heal you, He will give you passion, and He will love you so much that His love will overflow to others. Just believe.

The Day Death Brought Life

2011-08-15T10:08:00.001-07:00

How would you feel if you poured your whole heart, whole soul, and whole strength into one thing, only to see it all walk away?

Peter, Andrew, James, and John made a living catching fish. I imagine that they had planned to fish for the rest of their lives. John and James probably had dreams to start their own fishing business with their dad called "Zebedee & Sons". I can't imagine all the work that they poured into their careers, trying hard to reach their goals.

But then Jesus comes along and tells Peter, Andrew, James, and John to 'Follow Me'. All four had dropped and abandon their nets, their dreams, their goals, and for James and John leaving behind their heartbroken father; risking the ocean to follow Jesus instead.

On many occasions I believe that Peter, Andrew, James, and John had their doubts about whether or not Jesus was truly who He said He was. Jesus had sent out His disciples to cast out demons in His name, yet they were not able to because Jesus stated they did not have 'enough faith.' They were on a rollercoaster of faith, up and down on belief and disbelief, wondering if they had made a mistake on leaving their dreams behind to follow Jesus.

2 years pass, the disciples are comfortable and finally see that just maybe Jesus is God. They start to believe that all the goals and dreams they left behind were worth it to follow Jesus and travel with Him, assisting Him with His work. In their minds, God had blessed them with the life they had at that moment and were thankful. But then, Jesus rocks their world.

During dinner, Jesus shares with the disciples that He will no longer be with them; implying that He will be put to death soon, leaving them behind alone. I can picture Peter, Andrew, James, John, and the other disciplines thinking, "What?.. I left behind my goals, my dreams, and my family to follow you and now you're leaving me?" It had to have been a painful low blow for the disciples, a huge disappointment.

Like the fishermen poured their heart in their fishing life, they poured their heart into Jesus, and now He was walking away. They were full of grief.

The truth is though, they did not see the big picture. They did not know it at the time, but Jesus had a better plan for their lives. Jesus had even told the disciples that it is for their benefit that He would go away, otherwise the Helper (the Holy Spirit) will not come to them. As hard and as painful as it was for the disciples, we see that this was true, because the disciples and the rest of the church were not as strong and as impactful prior to the coming of the Holy Spirit, as they were after the Holy Spirit came. Jesus had to go, He had to die in order for Him to make a greater impact in the world and in their lives.

The hardest part about being a Christian, is that it takes death to bring life. It takes the death of a dream, the death of a goal, the death of something you love in order for it to resurrect into something better, like a glorified Jesus 3 days after His death.

Although we know that something better is coming, death still hurts, very much. And when you sense God calling you to put to death something you love, it hurts, especially when you gave up your dreams to have it.

It takes faith, it takes bravery in order to be willing to experience the hurt that comes from death; faith, bravery, and willingness that we could only get with help from the Holy Spirit.

The point of this blog? Is to let you know, and remind myself that it is ok to hurt when you have to give up your dreams, it is ok to be scared when you have to lay your Isaac down, but trust throughout the entire hurt, that God knows what He is doing and has a plan. He will comfort you through the pain and the fear, He will be there to hold your hand. Be sure to hold on tight to His, He'll lead you to step over your dead dream as you mourn into new life.

With your weak heart and weak voice, worship Him through the hurt. He knows what He is doing.

To anyone considering moving to Billings, MT

2011-07-25T09:39:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, Pastor Levi had announced to our church the plans to launch the 4th Fresh Life Campus. The new campus will be planted in Billings, Montana, about 7 or 8 hours away from Kalispell.

The news was very exciting to our church who clapped and cheered, but then all went silent when Levi threw out a challenge to the church. Levi had shared with the church that there would be a need for people to uproot their lives in Kalispell, and move to Billings to start this church.

When Levi said this I began to wonder who felt the call at that moment, and who was terrified and discouraged about responding to the call. That thought has bugged me so much for the past two days that I decided to write to these people by way of blog, and would trust that God would have them come across this letter if He willed. But first, I wanted to point out the reason why I am so passionate about encouraging people who are beginning to sense God calling them to Billings, but at the same time feel like they may not be called and are totally confused.

It was a little over a year ago when I was living in Long Beach, California that I began to sense that my wife and I would be moving out to a different state. Throughout a series of circumstances, God had clearly revealed to us that we were to move to Kalispell, MT. (You could read these stories here: Pt.1, here: Pt.2, and here: Pt.3).

Although we sensed God calling us to Kalispell, over the course of a few weeks we presented Him with so many reasons why we could not move to Kalispell. And I wonder if right now, those God is calling to move to Billings have the same things on their mind.

1. "We Do Not Know Anyone": I only knew one guy that added me on Facebook after I had posted something on Fresh Life's page that he liked. I had never met him in person before moving to Kalispell, in fact, he was the very first person Monica and I met in Montana. But the fact that we had never personally met anyone in Kalispell or at Fresh Life (including the Pastors who had no idea who we were), really discouraged us both about moving here.

How Jesus Refuted that Concern: When I prayed and presented this concern to Jesus, He simply responded to me by saying, "You don't know them, but you know Me." In a nutshell, Jesus was saying that just as much as He was in the church I was involved in at the time, He was very much involved in the church in Kalispell, which meant that He was there. Jesus was saying that if we went to Kalispell, He would meet us there. Although we knew no one, we knew Him, and He had a lot of friends here, friends He introduced us to. He built solid relationships with the friends we ended up gaining here, and now, we know people because of Him. Are you worried about the fact that you know no one in Billings? Remember, you know Jesus, He knows people in Billings, and He'll meet you there.

2. "My Family Needs My Help": Both my mom and dad were unemployed when I sensed that God was calling Monica and I to move to Montana. They were collecting unemployment but I was so worried that their money would run out, they would struggle and eventually lose their house. I felt like I had to stay behind to help my parents with finances in order to keep a roof over their head. I felt like I had to take care of my aging mom and dad.

How Jesus Refuted that Concern: When I presented this concern to Jesus, He led me to the story in the Scriptures where He was calling a man to follow Him. The man responded with the excuse of wanting to bury his father before following Jesus. Now, anyone who had studied this Scripture knows that this man's father was not dead. Many people believe that either a) He wanted to take care of his dad until the day that he passed away, or b) he wanted his dad's inheritance in order to be financially stable enough to afford to follow Jesus without concerns. In a nutshell, this guy was only making excuses to put off following what Jesus was calling him to do, he did not want to go. Jesus was showing me that I was only presenting excuses and should follow His call. He also put a peace in my heart, helping me understand that He will take care of my parents in my absence. Do you have things tying you down? A house to sell? A lease bounding you? An aging parent to take care of? If you sense the call, Go! No excuses.

Finally,

3. "I Don't Have Any Money": To be honest, this was the major one that was holding me back. At this point, Monica and I had been engaged for 1 year and a half. We had made many plans to get married after becoming engaged but they always fell through because of our lack of Money. I told Jesus that we were broke and I could not afford to support the both of us, nor afford our wedding, nor afford our move. There was just no money at all.

How Jesus Refuted that Concern: After serious burdens in our hearts and many signs pointing both Monica and I to Montana, we decided to, by faith, tell Jesus that we will move to Montana. When we again stated that we were poor, we told Jesus that we would trust that He would provide our funds. That very same weekend, we were given $7,000 by someone who had no idea what was brewing in our hearts or the plans we had. We were praising God and were so stinkin' excited. We tithed 10% of it, then divided the rest of it, planning how we would use it for the wedding, honeymoon, and the move. After tithing though, we ended up using all the money for the wedding and had none for our honeymoon or move, but we then continued to see God provide more and more as we would take steps of faith. We eventually had money for our wedding, our honeymoon, our drive up to Montana and our first month's rent. By the time we got to Montana, we had only Target gift cards from our wedding and a jar full of change, trusting that after seeing all that God had done, He would provide. And He has! We have never made a late payment on anything since moving here, we have never lacked food. So is the fact that you do not have money holding you back? Take the step of faith and see that He will provide, He totally will!

Anyway, I hope that if you sense the call to move to Billings, this would encourage you to jump right in and respond to the call. And I hope that this blog post would have you think about the various things concerning you and would also encourage you to present them to Jesus. I promise that if you are truly called to go, He will refute your concerns in love.

I will commit to praying for the Billings team, as I am so stinkin' excited about it. Keep your eyes on Jesus, ignore the waves and keep walking on water. If Called, ANSWER! Take the step of faith! You will never go wrong with His plan for your life!

How I Came to Christ

2011-05-30T21:24:00.000-07:00

**I actually wrote this back in Sept. 2009 but figured it would be appropriate to post how I came to Christ on my blog**

2 Corinthians 1:3-4
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

It all started 6 years ago.. I was working a job at Baskin Robbins and I remember the day like it was yesterday. Reason being is that from that day forward my life would never be the same. I still remember the drink I took a few sips of that day, a Cappuccino Blast, and also that I was going to see my favorite band at the time at a show somewhere in Riverside.

About half way through my shift I started feeling very dizzy, and decided to cool off on my own in the Restroom. I practically collapsed as my heart started racing while my stomach knotted up and I gagged as the temperature of my body rose. I went home early that day only to be too sick to go to the show that night. Not knowing what was wrong with me, this continued, so much to a point where I dropped out of school and had lost my job.

Not knowing what was wrong, I began to visit different Dr.’s in the U.S. None of these doctors could diagnose me and were unable to treat me. I ended going to Mexico to get checked out there (affordable treatments: p) but they were also unable to figure out what was wrong with me.

I came back, and a few weeks later I had an episode so strong that I literally thought that I was going to die. I was out of it, not knowing what was going on. My mom had told me that she placed her hand on me and I had actually burned her because my body was so hot.

It was this night that the Lord came to me and reached out to me.. I responded and that night I felt an overwhelming peace from Him and He had instantly took away my fears and had healed me. He had actually also let me know exactly what was wrong with me and I had to actually tell the doctors myself that it was God who told me what was wrong. I’m sure they were amazed that God diagnosed me, since they couldn’t figure it out!

Although my Spirit was strong after this because of Him and what He had done , my body still had its reactions, and I was unable to leave my home for 3 months. For the first few years it was really hard trying to get back to normal, and to be honest physically I haven’t been anywhere near normal since before all this began.
Just two days ago I had another one of these episodes, right before I was getting ready to speak somewhere and all I could think about is how bad the timing was, I was really hurting. I found myself praying for God to take it away and yet nothing was happening. I was very desperate and I began to feel as if He wasn’t hearing my cries. He began to remind me that people were praying for me for the night, whether or not they knew something like this would happen. It had been so long since I had an episode, and again I couldn’t help but think of the bad timing.

I praise God that I was able to get through the message without anyone noticing what I was feeling, but my body has been going through it still for the past two days. What God keeps bringing back to memory as I ask Him to take this all away is the situation that Paul faced. Paul pleaded with God to take his thorn in the flesh away.. and what did God respond with? “My grace is sufficient for you..” and so like Paul, I’m faced with the challenge of sucking up my feelings and relying on God’s grace.

But why would God even allow His children to keep the thorn in the flesh? Why doesn’t He just take it away? Well.. According to the Scripture I provided above, we need to go through this for a reason. I think about the many people who face the same problem that I do, and how much comfort they would feel knowing that God had helped me through the problem when I felt hopeless, and that God can do the same for them as well. I guess this is part of what it would mean to be a living sacrifice.. willing to give up yourself in order to be of good use to our Maker.

A lot of what God will allow us to go through is not easy, but it is necessary, especially if we want Him to have His will done, on earth as it is in heaven. The hardest thing is to be that living sacrifice for the Lord. But if it means ministering to so many lost and hurting souls by giving them hope in Jesus Christ by sharing what He has done for us, wouldn’t it be worth it?

Here's an audio of me sharing my testimony while sharing a message:

Men.. listen to your wives!

2011-05-26T21:25:00.000-07:00

A couple of months ago, Monica and I were looking at a potential place to move into.

I fell in love with it. I loved the fact that it was two stories, had 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. I loved that it also had an office and the highlight for me was the creek in the backyard. I thought this place was perfect.

Monica on the other hand had some issues with the place. For one, she didn't like how the office was located at the very entrance of the home. Something about that layout made it weird for her. Another concern for her was the fact that the house was covered in carpet. I had asked her what the big deal was about carpet, she said she was worried that our cat would stain it if he threw up on it.

After meeting with the landlord, we had told her that we would discuss it and get back to her. I was pretty adamant about getting this place and Monica was pretty adamant about not getting it. Naturally, we argued about it (because that's what sinners do and that's exactly what we are, sinners!).

In the midst of all the arguing we both resorted to making this decision the way we would usually make big decisions: Pray about it, then if we agree to go forward we will do it, if not then we won't.

And so we prayed, discussed it the next day and we were still not on the same page. I was pretty upset. My thought was the fact that I was the leader of the home and that I should have the final say, but Monica really stated concerns. She kept pointing out the fact that our cat would throw up on the carpet! I argued that we shouldn't worry about that and that our cat would be fine. We came to the conclusion that maybe it was not of the Lord, because we were not in agreement about it.

A part of me felt as if Monica was in the wrong, because I felt that she was not submitting, so I was upset about it.

The next day though, our cat, who I was so sure would not get sick started getting the runs and vomiting everywhere. This lasted for two days and it was quite a mess to clean up! Also, most recently I've found that the place I wanted so badly ended up in an area where it has been flooding since the start of Spring.

I am seeing now that God did not want us there and that He had something easy, better, and more affordable in mind for us.

It brings me to the conclusion that we should really listen to our wives.

In fact, the Lord had also showed me that listening to your wife (even in the biggest of decisions) is Biblical. God told Abraham to listen to his wife in the way they would handle Ishmael. Abraham's wife Sarah asked Abraham to get rid of Ishmael, and so he did (as hard as that was!) Also, Samuel's mom Hannah decided that when Samuel was born she was going to drop him off at the temple and give him to the Lord. As hard as this might have been on her husband, he listened to his wife, trusted her and agreed to give him to the Lord. Because of these men listening to their wives, God was able to do amazing things.

Don't get me wrong, I am in no way saying that God has not called men to lead, He has, but the truth is that God will give vision to a man's wife and may save the couple from heading into disaster (Just look at Esther and Xerces!)

So as men, we ought to stop with the power trips and be flexible to how the Lord might want to speak to us through our awesome wives.

On Being a Lonely Missionary

2011-05-02T22:50:00.000-07:00

Has God ever called you to do something for Him that had led you to a place where you felt alone?

I remember sitting in on a Missions class while I was in California, a few months before moving to Montana. Our instructor was pointing out the fact that God had done amazing and extraordinary things through Paul. I couldn't agree any more with him; Paul planted many churches, ministered to the body of Christ, loved on the body of Christ and the church in general loved him. God had even used Paul to write the majority of the New Testament and some would credit him as the guy who told Luke the story of Jesus, a story Luke would pen and distribute to his master Theophilus, a story that eventually landed into our hands today. No doubt God had done amazing things through Paul, but we see that even as God was using Paul, it appears that he had a war with loneliness which was far more evident at the end of his life.

While Paul was in prison, he wrote to Timothy telling him to come quickly. Paul also went on to tell Timothy that Demas, Crescens, and Titus had left him, telling Timothy that only Luke had stayed with him. Imagine the guys/girls you served along side with for years, people you have grown to love all of a sudden leaving you. So much time was invested in building a strong friendship while serving together yet they drop the relationship and give up on you.

I was warned before coming to Montana (and I am so glad), that I would have my wars with loneliness just as Paul did. That the friends I would have expected to keep in contact wouldn't, and when I return for a visit there would not be any welcome back banners waiting but very brief and quick hellos and goodbyes. This is one of the major things my instructor would underline and bold while teaching the class, The Missionary's Loneliness, using Paul as the example, he couldn't have been any more right.

What is important to keep in perspective is that loneliness is a feeling. Some feelings are good but some feelings are unhealthy and dangerous. Some feelings are traps in disguise set by the devil as he aims to pull you down and hold you back from what God would like to do through you.

I believe that although Paul felt lonely, he remained focused. Soon after he wrote this letter, Paul was escorted to the chopping block and put to death. I would have a hard time believing that he allowed himself to get killed because he was depressed and lonely, that he believed life wasn't worth it anymore because his friends left him. He remained focused and died for the best cause; standing firm in faith in Jesus Christ.

Paul was a missionary on steroids, and if God had called us out to a strange place to do our part in getting work done for Him, then like Paul we must remain focused. And when those times of loneliness come; the missing of your friends and family stuff, the thinking of the good ol' days back home.. we must stand firm and remember that God is good, and His plans always work out for the good to those who love Him.

So to be a lonely missionary is normal, it is not a sin, it's not crazy. Paul a man mightily used by God felt it. But God was always with him and would get him through it and keep him going. Paul did the work he was called to do because he leaned on Him. Us lonely missionaries could learn from that.

A huge lesson to learn from Paul

2011-03-07T10:09:00.000-08:00

In a city full of plenty of money people could go out and earn if they'd like to, in a city full of legal and encouraged prostitution for the sake of worshiping the goddess of the Ephesians Diana: God landed in about 50 AD to totally rock the city.

Monica and I have been studying the book of Ephesians lately and it has been blowing our minds. It is crazy to think that God would consider reaching out to a city that seemed hopeless, a city that you would probably believe would not receive the words of God yet God proved to be a major threat to the Ephesians.

In a time where the town was completely comfortable in worshipping their goddess and earning a living, Paul had visited the city on his way to Jerusalem. He found a synagogue there and like he always does, he tried to reason with the jews in persuading them that Jesus is the Messiah they have been waiting for.

Paul only had a short time to spare in the city of Ephesus (he was dying to get to a feast in Jerusalem), and as he was getting ready to leave the city, the small group of guys he was talking to tried to get him to stay. Paul instead left behind an awesome husband and wife team named Pricilla and Aquilla to disciple the group. Apollos would soon join the group after Pricilla and Aquilla pulled him aside when hearing him preach, updating him on the things that have gone on since the events surrounding the time of John the Baptist (telling him about Jesus, His death and resurrection).

A little while later, Paul returned to Ephesus in 50AD to 52AD finding a total of 12 Christians in a city that had a population of 250,000 people during the time that Jesus was born. Upon Paul's arrival, he spoke to the small church regarding the Holy Spirit, asking them if they had received Him. The church said no, and so Paul prayed for them to receive the Holy Spirit, the rest is history.

This church boomed, it grew fast. Many were coming to know Jesus in this heathen town, many were exposed to and experienced miracles. Many lives were changed by the hearing of God's word, so much to the point where church growth became a threat to the employees of those who worshipped the goddess diana.

Eventually, one employee spoke up against Paul and his teaching, persuading many co-workers and many non believers in the city to give Paul the boot, suggesting that he was the reason why their business has been failing. Eventually, Paul made the decision to leave the city, with many of the non believers probably believing that business will boom for them again since who they thought was their problem was now leaving.

Well, 10 years later, Paul writes the Ephesian church a letter. In the letter, one of the first things he wrote was: 'To the saints who are in Ephesus, and faithful in Christ Jesus" Ephesians 1:1b.

Paul writes about the fact that the Ephesian church was FAITHFUL, even after he had left the church. So this guy working for the goddess Diana failed to see what was causing his problem, all along he thought it was Paul but really it was Jesus. And so his problem probably continued to effect his business because although Paul was gone, Jesus remained.

There's a lot we can learn from this, but I'll try to make it brief since I've gone on for too long! The main thing we have to asks ourselves is: Why?. Why did the Ephesian church remain faithful to Jesus even after their Pastor had left the church? Why did they not stop when the man that had led their church left?

Reason being: Paul was a very good leader, because in being a leader, he led people to Jesus. He pointed to Jesus, he taught about Jesus, he taught that Jesus was the one who died for their sins, he taught that Jesus was their shepherd and not Paul.

If you want a believer's faith to last, you've got to point people to Jesus and not point people to yourself. You have to glorify Jesus and not yourself, you have to pray to give them understanding that Jesus is the one who will solve all their problems and not you. Sure you're there to help, but you have to wean them off of yourself eventually and let them walk with Jesus. You should not always be the mediator between Jesus and man, you have to have them understand that they can come BOLDLY to the throne of Grace whenever they please. That makes a good leader, and Paul was a great leader in leading a church so young in the Lord to the Lord.

As a result, this generation of the church in Ephesus was faithful to Jesus, and as a result of that many churches were planted around the Asia Minor.

What God did in Ephesus through Paul and through this church during the first generation of it inspires me and excites me.. I pray that I can take on Paul's example and thank God that I have had many leaders in my life, like Paul, who through being my leaders have led me to Jesus.

(Not)Alone on Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T11:49:00.000-08:00

It is an exciting day. Sure there are so many out there that have negative views toward Valentines Day, saying things like it is a day that's kept up in order for so many stores out there to make an extra buck every year, but, I'd say its a good excuse to go out and express your love to your significant other. In fact, Valentines Day should be everyday! Why need an excuse to show someone you love them, just do it!

The reason I am so excited about Valentines Day is because of the fact that it is Monica and mine's first Valentines Day together as a married couple. BUT! That is not the reason why I write this blog (as special as that is to us), I actually have something deep in my heart burning for you single people out there.

I know that every year this is a day you dread. Some are just irritated by it because you hate to think about the fact that you don't have a special someone in your life yet, and others take a deeper hurt to this day, others are longing for their beds, ready to cry themselves to sleep because they thought they'd have someone by now; they thought they'd be married by now, they thought they'd have kids right now.

I will be 100% honest with you, my heart hurts for you. My heart hurts that you feel alone, my heart hurts that you don't have someone to hold you and tell you that they love you today. But I would hope that you hear me out just now, and I hope that you receive the love that I want to offer you and leave you with, a greater love that no other person can give.. including me..

How real are these words to you? 'We love Him because He first loved us' (1John4:19). Really, think about it, how REAL are they to you? Many who have put their faith in God have put faith in the fact that the Bible is a Love Letter from God, full of many promises. Is this a promise you believe? Do you love God? Understand, He loves you.

You may be looking for a specific person to show you love, Understand that there is no other place to look but to God. If you look for a person to love you, their well is going to run dry, but God's well carries an infinite supply of love. Please do not take this lightly, believe it, and you'll receive that love from Him if you asks it of Him. 'If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish?' (Luke11:11)

I know that the temptation is also there to look around at other couples, and so much wish you had what they had. But understand that the fact that you are alone now is a blessing from God for the time being. We may think that blessings are receiving the things we want from God, but blessings are actually things that conform us more to the image of God, including all the hard things. You may feel, or think you are alone, but you are not. God has never left you, and He is there right beside you ready to show you so much love. 'Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you.' Hebrews 13:5

Understand, God has got a love song He is ready to share with you today, just listen. He is ready to make this day, and every day special for you, receive His love. Fall deep in love with Him and let Him love you, trust that one day He will bring you someone in His time that will love you, and will join you in receiving love from Him, and showing love to Him together.

Love Him today, and Let Him love you! Happy Valentines Day, God loves you and you have no idea how special you are to Him!

Here's a gift for you, an awesome Video by JJ Heller called 'What Love Really Means' Listen to it, you won't regret it!

They didn't know, but God knew

2011-01-10T21:35:00.001-08:00

I was sitting on my bass amp in a garage where my old band used to practice.

Monica and I must have been at our 4 month mark together when someone told me, 'Its just a fling, your relationship is nothing serious.'

It really did upset me at that time. Even though the relationship was very young and I did not know whether or not it would last, my heart was invested and I was looking to be in it for the long haul.

Today while at work I thought about how the 21st of this month would mark

the half a decade anniversary of Monica and I being together as a couple.

Not only that, but 5 years after that comment was made, Monica and I are married.

So I see that this negative comment this person made was very wrong, and although I did not know where this relationship would go, God very much knew. I am so glad this person was wrong and thank God for bringing me my awesome wife today.

This inspired me to write a song, Lyrics are here:

Someone said it's just a fling

but FIVE YEARS later you married me

They try to scold take all control

They never thought to leave us alone

This is something that I said about you,

"Immediately I knew she'd be my wife

It's not a season this will last a lifetime

I could tell when I'm looking in her eyes"

The issues broke our hearts we both ache

The birth pains to our love for our sake

Reality is love's not easy

But pleasing, pleasing at it's worse

This is something that I said about you,

"She said 'goodbye, goodbye for good get out my life!'

She cried all night and you know I did too,

We reunite, apologize it's been alright"

My favorite conversations

Are where we'll take our kids on vacation

The many different cities

we'll visit on date nights eating sushi

When we share what we've been reading

When the message of the Word came clearly

Life, it's our life, won't let it go

Montana Update

2011-01-03T22:43:00.000-08:00

So we're just about entering our 3rd month of being up here in Montana

and God has done quite a bit since we first moved up here.

About a month or two ago we met our Pastor for the first time and he

was a super nice guy. We talked after a service and he right away encouraged

us to jump into the Kids ministry at our church. We went ahead and took

him up on that offer. Monica and I began sitting in on a few of the classes

about a month ago and we were given a class of our own this past Sunday.

Surprisingly I was not nervous at all about this, but instead really excited

and eager! Monica and I haven't served at all in a ministry since before we

got married! So we were just itching to serve. I was feeling a bit anxious

though before teaching because I wondered about whether or not the kids

would receive us at all. So there was a small hint of insecurity inside of me.

But I figured that God didn't bring us all this way just so we would warm up the seats in our

church, He also wants us to serve, and this had to be the first step.

It made sense since it was exactly what we were doing back home in Cali. And isn't

it a trip that this age group we got was the same age group of kids that I

had back in California? Even with the small bit of insecurities, I think that

fact gave me an eagerness and confidence that the Lord would do a work,

and He did! The class went surprisingly well; the kids had a lot of fun and

every time I quizzed the kids on the lesson they remembered! So we're just

so excited about that and give Glory to God. I just hope they remember this

stuff next week!

God had also opened up a door for me to be able to provide for my wife and

I. Yup, I got a job! I started about a month ago and I love it so much. What

trips me out though is that one of my desires when I arrived in Kalispell was

to do something that would impact the community. The longer I have been here

the more God had put a love on my heart and burden on my heart for this city.

The love and the burdens were not there in vain, because He has given me a

chance to pour those feelings into my work. I work in a company called the

Intermountain Learning Center, affiliated with the Providence Home. Providence

Home is a shelter for abused and neglected kids here and the Learning Center is a place those kids go to in order to have supervised visits with their biological parents. Basically

what I do there is supervise the visits between the kids and their parents, making

sure that everything is in order and maybe coach the parents on how to be better

parents to their kids (love them right, feed them right, be responsible for them, ect.)

The winter here too has been pretty awesome. There's been a whole lot of snow and

every time Monica and I see snowflakes up close we get blown away at how God has

designed them. They're not just snow shavings falling from the sky, but each are designed

pretty much the same with it's own spin on it, kind of like people's facial features n' such.

We've also seen a bit of deer here roaming around in our friend's back and front yards and get totally excited, and everyone else seems to laugh at us because to them it's nothing new. We're the kids who get super excited when we see a squirrel climbing a tree. It's pretty funny.

Anyway, our church just announced this past weekend some big things planned for the year and we're all as a church completely excited about what God is going to be doing and the visions that He's given the staff at Fresh Life. It's been an amazing ride out here with the church and this city and I can't wait to see what else God has in store for the church. I'm just so anxious and itching to get involved and do my part somehow. Can't wait to see what God is going to do.

Hope everyone is doing well back home, God bless!

Christmas Away From Home

2010-12-24T19:19:00.000-08:00

So it's Christmas Eve right now, and I'm having a hard time lying about not being home sick. The truth is I am homesick because I have been very close to my immediate family throughout my upbringing and this is the very first Christmas that I had ever spent apart from them. It's a bit emotional on my part and I am positive that it may be on theirs as well.

One of the things we used to do together on Christmas Eve was wait up until midnight, itching to open up the gifts that our parents had gotten us.

I remember years ago getting a Nintendo 64 for Christmas and being so excited about it. I valued it so much because my parents were poor, and it was really rare that we got something so pricey. But better than the gifts, was the time we got to spend together as a family. As we have gotten older we valued that time more and more because we spend less and less time together and more time apart, I guess it's a part of growing up.

As of right now, Monica and I left the land that we have been used to, the land where our
awesome family is, and we left because we have some things that we had to do for Jesus, things
He had asked us to do far away from home. As I was grieved in my heart and shared what I was
feeling with the Lord, He spoke to me and reminded me that there was a couple He knew very well that had gone through something very similar to us.

We don't really know if they were really in love while they were engaged, all we know is that their marriage was arranged and they were set to be married soon. One day though to their surprise, Mary ended up pregnant, all this without Joseph laying a single hand on her. And so they were given the responsibility of doing something for Jesus, to raise Him and protect Him just as God had asked them to do. Part of what came with that package was to leave their home. They left their home, their family and all their loved ones and while Jesus was still in Mary's womb they took the long trip to Bethlehem, where the Messiah was to be born. In a way, I understand the emotions that they were feeling, having to part ways with their loving families and close friends, it's not an easy thing to do. But even then, they arrived in Bethlehem and Jesus was born.

And so how is it that my wife and I can relate to this couple? They spent their first Christmas as a couple away from their family and close friends because they were busy doing something for Jesus. It was not an easy thing for them to do just as it wasn't easy for us and it isn't easy now, but it is amazing to see the fruit out of their obedience to the Lord. Jesus, the child they raised, eventually died for the sins of the world so that we can be forgiven of our sins and go to heaven. As down as I feel I can't help but imagine what the Lord is going to do through us here in Montana. We can't see that far down the road and still don't fully understand what we're doing here, but we're going to have faith and hold on, because in the end we know it'll be worth it.

And so, even though we miss our families deeply, this step of faith did not go in vain. We know we're supposed to be here but just know fam, we do miss you very much. Remember though that it wasn't even easy for Mary and Joseph to spend time away from their families, their first Christmas was in a Manger full of animal poop and stinky animals!! But just know that if you hold on like they held on and let God do what He wants to do, amazing things will happen.

Thanks so much for your support and prayers, we miss you.

Merry Christmas/ Happy Birthday Jesus

Why Be Obedient?

2010-12-18T09:42:00.000-08:00

"And being assembled together with them, He (Jesus) commanded them not to depart from Jerusalem, but to wait for the Promise of the Father, 'which,' He said, 'you have heard from Me; for John truly baptized with water, but you shall be baptized with the Holy Spirit not many days from now." Acts 1:4-5

Before Jesus death and resurrection, His disciples were not commited or faithful when they were placed under pressure. When being told to pray in the Garden, the pressures of sleep got the best of them and instead of praying they shut their eyes and drifted into dreams. Even after Jesus had resurrected, on the Mountain of Galilee, He had given the disciples what we call, 'the Great Commision' of making disciples all around the world and baptising them. Instead, Peter influences some of the disciples to go fishing.

Jesus in this Scripture gives His disciples another command after failing to keep many of His commandments.

This time though, Peter and the disciples decided to carry out the order that Jesus had given. The order was to wait in Jerusalem for the baptism of the Holy Spirit. And in carrying out this order, the world was turned completely upside down for the good. In their simple act of obidience, the Spirit came and made a huge impact to Jesus' disciples and to the Church.

Instead of struggling in the flesh, the usually disobient disciples were given power in place of their weaknesses to do a work for God.

The reason why Peter was waiting in Jerusalem may have been a mystery to him, all he knew was something about a 'Spirit'. But it was all clear to him when the Spirit came, it shows because he spoke about it in Acts 2. He was even able to address the questions that had grieved many of the believers at that time; why Jesus died, when Jesus resurrected, why Jesus did not establish His kingdom at that time and why He ascended instead of stayed.

When the Spirit came and used Peter to address these burdensome questions, the scriptures say many were 'cut to the heart' and asked, 'what should we do?'. Peter responded with what was never really clear to him before, but clearly understood now, and could explain perfectly. He responded by saying, "Repent and let everyone of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is to you and to your children, and to all who are afar off, as many as the Lord our God will call."(Acts 2:38-39)

Something we can learn is that like Peter we need to finally decide to obey by faith, especially when we don't understand. In time the Lord will accomplish what He set out to do. In turn, we'll bless others as we share with full understanding what God has done. People will be cut to the heart, people will be blown away and people will be saved.

A Ministry Lost, A Ministry Gained

2010-11-28T11:15:00.000-08:00

“Thus the heavens and the earth, and all the host of them, were finished.” Genesis 2:1

If we were to take a look outside, we would be able to see how much work it took to create the heavens, with all the planets in the universe and all the stars set in place. And in creating the earth it seems like it would have been a lot more work with all the unique plants and flowers, especially with all the unique living creatures of the earth and the sea. And even as we look in a mirror, we see that we have the same features in our face and body as any other human being yet at the same time we look totally different. Even looking at the snowflakes here in Kalispell blow me away, how they're the same yet they have a slightly different and unique design.

God put so much work into what we see, hear, touch, smell and taste yet after this He came to the conclusion that it was all ‘finished’. The ministry of creating a universe and everything in it was done, and even after all the hard work He put into it, He was willing to let it go.

One thing that I’ve learned over the years while doing the various work that God has given me the opportunity to do is that when you pour your heart into something and work hard at it, it is so hard to let it go. It is hard for us to be convinced that our part in a ministry is done because of all the time we had invested in it.

Like God, we just have to be sensitive to the fact that there will be a day that the Lord will show us that our time is up, and that we need to move on to what He has next for us. Sticking to what you were given when you’ve been called out of it is like running on a treadmill, the Lord can’t take you anywhere if you’re running on a belt, but the Lord will lead you places if you’re running on the Rock.

We see that after creation, God picked up another ministry. After He ceased from the ministry of creating, He moved on to a ministry that was greater, and that ministry was to love us.

All this just to say, if God is giving you the sense of an end, don’t fight it, just let it happen. Just let Him lead you to the new place He wants you.

And if you start to get scared, just remember that you’re running down the road that He’s already prepared for you, a road that will constantly have you meeting with Him as He goes before you.

God held a Place for Us

2010-11-13T23:03:00.000-08:00

The only thought coming across my head right now? That my God is an awesome God.

I am just now thinking back to when Monica and I were first considering whether or

not we'd move out here. One of our biggest fears was ending up in a position where

we were outside of God's will. But God has constantly met us throughout the planning

of our move and the move itself.

One thing that was especially mind blowing to me was how the Lord brought us to the

apartment we are in now.

If you've been around me anytime I spoke about our searching for an apartment up

here, you know that it was a challenge. Many landlords discouraging us from moving

up here not willing to give us a chance.

I then one day came across one apartment listing on craigslist that Monica and I were

interested in. I spoke to the landlord and he asked about the reason why Monica and I

were moving here. We were up front with him, we told him that we wanted to attend

and serve at Fresh Life. We also told him that we did not have a job lined up and all.

Expecting another rejection, he went ahead and sent me an application to fill out. He

calls me a few days later and tells me that many have applied for the apartment, but

he felt compelled to give it over to Monica and I. And we went ahead and made the plan

to move into our place when we arrived, he promised that he'd hold the apartment for

us to arrive.

So the day we were suppose to arrive, we were running a little behind schedule. It was

kind of a bummer because we worried about having to find a hotel to go to on our first

night in Kalispell. Our landlord then decided that he was going to leave the door open

for us with the key on the counter, letting us stay in our apartment for the night without

having to sign a lease or make a payment at all. That was totally God!

And so the next day he arrives so that we would deal with all the paper work. He then

brings up the fact that we moved here for Fresh Life and says, 'I actually know Levi' (our pastor at Fresh Life). We were a bit surprised about that. Turns out that our landlord is a writer for the city's newspaper, and has met with Levi and has written on the church plenty of times.

Our landlord loves what Fresh Life does for the community, so I'm guessing this is the reason

why he decided to give the apartment over to us.

I just think it's amazing how God works. It seemed so impossible to find a place here yet God had a place all along.. and it only being a few blocks away from the church.. is just awesome.

And God just keeps providing financially here too, it's just insane.

I am beyond blessed!

I'm still trying to figure out exactly why we are here.. but time will tell. Kalispell is beautiful, and that makes us really excited to be here, but we really can't wait until the Lord raises us up to serve somewhere, I'm really itching to serve.

I've learned from the past though, don't jump into anything, let God raise you up. It's when I let God do the work that He's been able to do effective work through me, and I see that it's been the same case with anyone who has been used of God.

Anyway, this was sloppy I know.. but I figured I'd quickly update everyone on what's been going on.

Who do our battles belong to?

2010-11-07T04:34:00.000-08:00

"And it came to pass, when Joshua was by Jericho, that he lifted his eyes and looked, and behold, a Man stood opposite him with His sword drawn in His hand. And Joshua went to Him and said o Him, "Are You for us or for our adversaries?" So He said, "No, but as Commander of the army of the LORD I have now come." And Joshua fell on his face to the earth and worshiped, and said to Him, "What does my Lord say to His servant?" Then the Commander of the LORD'S army said to Joshua, "Take your sandal off your foot, for the place where you stand is holy." And Joshua did so." Joshua 5:13-15

Joshua was about to fight his very first battle in order to take the land that was promised to God's people ever since the time of Abraham.

I imagine that even as Joshua was a great man of faith, he was probably a bit nervous (I know I would be!).

Yet before his very first battle, Jesus met with Joshua and told Joshua that He was the commander of the army of the LORD.

You know what this means? It means that Jesus would not only be commanding the army of the LORD in this war, but that Jesus would actually be right there with Joshua. Who better to have with you than Jesus?

I think sometimes we put a little too much pressure on ourselves when we fight our battles as believers. We take on too much responsibility rather than casting our cares at the feet of our Lord. What the Lord has shown me here is that while we as believers are in many battles, the battles belong to Him. He is the commander of our battles, He is with us and the upside to that is that God never loses.

Winning this battle looks impossible, but we've got a clever, strong, loving and all knowing Commander.
Should we then underestimate our God?

God knows what He's doing

2010-11-01T08:55:00.000-07:00

This analogy has been used before and it will be used again: Life is a rollercoaster.

It's been used so much because it's the perfect way to explain life. You have that long

chain lift to the top that feels like forever, giving you enough time to think to yourself,

'What did I get myself into?' over and over again. You have the ups and the downs of

the ride that can be both exciting and terrifying at the same time. Though you've felt the fear and the joy of the ride, it's the end of the ride that's best. You reflect on the beast of a ride you just got on and are now exiting thinking to yourself, 'That was awesome.'

God's plans in our life are very much like that.

I was just talking to Monica about everything that has been going on lately, and we

thought back at the recent decisions that we have been making. They were out

of the ordinary, nothing like our typical, 'Lets just be safe' decisions that we have been

making for years and got us no where. With every crazy decision made, from getting

married on what started as a budget, but went on to 'Trusting in the Lord' as our budget

to not caring about the cost of our honeymoon, to now moving to Montana, it has all been

steps of faith. I think once we heard the Lord say, 'Go', we realized we needed to give Him

the freedom to do whatever He wants, no matter how crazy it felt to do what He was leading

us to do. And you know what? It's actually got us somewhere, actually it's gone beyond what

we had ever expected.

What I can't get over is the fact that whenever we took these steps of faith that He was

leading us to take, He was there, we felt Him there, we recognized that He was around and

we saw the things He was doing. It's been such an amazing thrill ride to the both of us

and we are just so overjoyed that we serve a God that is not only concerned about His will

being done, but also loves His children so much to the point of spoiling them when He sees

fit.

So no matter how crazy, how impossible the vision God has put in your heart, take the step of faith no matter the cost. Whether it'd be having to part ways with friends and family, whether it'd be putting money here instead of there, whether it'd be making friends with someone you are terrified of, whether it'd be standing on a trash can in a public place and preach the Gospel, do it. It may seem crazy, but remember that life is a rollercoaster, life is crazy, and when God puts crazy visions in your heart, He knows what He's doing. You'll come off the ride He's put you on looking back and you'll think to yourself, 'Wow, that was awesome'.

You'll be glad you took a chance on that ride.

The Battle for the Steering Wheel

2010-10-02T11:25:00.000-07:00

For the past week I've been insanely discouraged about the move Monica and I will be taking a month from today.

For about two months now I have been looking for a place for us to stay. In the past two weeks I've been more aggressive about looking, calling places with landlords that are making it impossible for us to be able to move into a place they are renting out. To make matters worse, the money that I had saved for us to move into a place is all gone, being sucked into the expenses of the wedding. It's looking nearly impossible and I've been starting to get discouraged.

The thing is, I know God spoke to both Monica and I, I know that we're suppose to go. I had received a vision, and so has she and it all lines up perfectly. So I couldn't help but ask myself what was going on.

A few days after I shared this with a friend, he sent me a text message encouraging me to read a chapter out of the Calvary Distinctives book called 'Having begun in the Spirit'. This chapter impacted me, pointing out the huge mistake that I have been making in my preparation to move.

The theme of the chapter pretty much centers in Galatians 3:3, "Are you so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit, are you now being made perfect in the flesh?"

This has been my mistake. Here's the thing, again, I know for a fact that I heard from the Lord, that this vision to move to Montana came from God, that it was an idea and passion that had begun in the Spirit. MY biggest problem was that I was doing every thing that I could in my flesh to make it happen. I set my own standards stating where we should move, how we should move, how we would get there, the kind of place I want.. I just set these standards before God pretty much showing Him that I will only do what He wants me to do if He does it my way. And because I have done that, I've been hitting nothing but a bunch of brick walls. Reading that scripture and that chapter made me wonder, "Who am I to tell God how to do what He wants me to do?"

We think about how God got Paul to Rome, Paul had a desire for so long to get there but he didn't get there the way he expected, he got to Rome as a prisoner. We think about the Israelites being trapped at shore of the Red Sea, their best idea may have been to build a boat and float across to escape the Egyptians. Of course it wouldn't have worked out because they wouldn't have had enough time to build the boat, but what did God do? He parted the Red Sea for them.

God's ways are the best way, so why do we try so hard to finish our own way? Especially when God was the one who originally came up with the idea?

If it had begun in the Spirit, if it began with God, let it continue with God in the Spirit. I learned that when God starts something, we need to step aside and let Him steer, because if we try to reach for the steering wheel while He was meant to drive, we'll crash and the plan He had for us will fail.

So then, what about Montana? ... It was a vision that began in the Spirit, and my plan is to step aside and stop taking control. To let God do what He wants. Our plan is to plan, but to not make the mistake of ridding God of His freedom to do what He wants the way He wants to.

We know we're called to go, but He'll decide when we'll get there and how we'll get there.

God, do what you want.

The one who holds our heart

2010-09-29T14:10:00.000-07:00

Do we have a relationship with Him or our desires? Do we seek to please Him or our desires?

When we're drawn away by Him we get the way, the truth and the life.

When we're drawn away by our desires we are enticed, give birth to sin and receive death.

If our heart's desire is for His will to be done, we conceive life with Him.

If our heart's desire is for our will to be done, we conceive death with our desires.

Is it Jesus that we've given our hearts to or have we given our heart to our desires?

Is it Jesus that holds our hearts in His hands or is our heart in the arms of our desires?

Love and trust Jesus and His ways. Take your heart from your desires and give it to Jesus.

Destroying Insecurities in your Relationship

2010-09-15T18:40:00.000-07:00

For a single girl, Solomon was the type of guy a girl would melt over.

His future bride, the Shulamite, mentions a few of the many ways that Solomon would make her go boy crazy! His love, or ‘Dowd’ in the Hebrew, speaks about the butterfly feelings she felt whenever they would interact with one another. His fragrance, probably made her heart thump so many more times quicker than usual to the point where she could not stand. And then there was the mention of his name, bringing to remembrance not only his face and fragrance, but also the amazing character of a man that he appeared to be causing her to have to fall on her knees.

This was a deep crush, and her feelings were strong. Strong enough to the point where she yells ‘Draw me away’ and desires to be touched by him by way of a kiss.

Solomon made a huge impression on the Shulamite. The unfortunate thing according to her is that there were many other unmarried women that had been crushing over Solomon and so she found herself competing for his love. The Shulamite mentions that the Virgins love Solomon, or ‘Ahab’ in Hebrew, meaning that they desire after, or breathe after Solomon. And the Daughters of Jerusalem are in agreement with her yelling ‘We will run after you (Solomon)!’

I picture the Shulamite sighing as she says with a frown on her face, ‘Rightly do they love you’ because the topic of conversation quickly switches from the competition to have Solomon to her insecurities.

She begins to talk about her dark skin, indicating that she was a low class blue collar field worker. She felt that she didn’t have a chance with Solomon, a man with Pale skin, indicating that he was an upper class successful rich guy. I can imagine her asking herself. ‘Why would Solomon even consider choosing me as his bride? All the girls want him, even the nice pale ones, I don’t have a chance.’

But Solomon took notice in her. Solomon dug her just as much as she dug him. And the insecurities she felt about herself and whether or not she was good enough for him, he addresses it.

She was insecure about who she was and her dark looks, and he says, ‘O fairest among women!’. Basically saying, ‘You are the beauty of beauties!’

And so we begin to see the relationship blossom between Solomon and the Shulamite.

There will be many times in our relationships where our loved one will begin to feel insecure. Times where they will feel like they have to compete for YOUR heart and YOUR love. Competing against people or even competing against your priorities. It is extremely vital that we put those insecurities to death by reminding our loved one that they are our priority, and that we love them. That there will never be any other person or thing that will steal your heart away because you have already given them your heart.

One more thing worth mentioning is that not only did Solomon put to death the Shulamite’s insecurities by his words, but with his actions he made sure that those insecurities did not resuscitate. He did that by showing her so much love.

We ought to be sure to do the same thing, proving our love for the other by stirring up love not only with words but by action. Putting to death the insecurity of our loved one and doing our part to make sure that those insecurities stay dead.

Song of Songs

2010-09-05T01:37:00.000-07:00

Ever read this book? It was written by King Solomon and you have a copy lying around somewhere if you've got a Bible lying around somewhere.

I've been reading and studying this book lately, I have to say that it's such a gem! Many have different interpretations of what this book is about, some say it's an allegory of God's relationship with Israel, some relate it to the Church's relationship with Christ. I personally believe that the book literally is talking about the relationship between a man and a woman who are head over heels in love with each other!

As you read this book, you see a relationship from its start to an eventual happily ever after. From the 'crush' stage, to the 'courtship', to the engagement, marriage, honeymoon, problem in marriage, make up sex, to an eventual happily ever after. Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm a sucker for romantic comedies, and this book is just that, minus the comedy :)

I would encourage anyone who is set to be married, or is married to go through this book and study it in deptly and prayerfully with their spouses. It's a bit explicit and NOT FOR KIDS that's for sure. But wow, what a book it is!

I decided that I wanted to write my own version of Song of Songs about mine and Monica's relationship over the years, and just as we go on in our relationship and eventual marriage.

Years ago I wrote her songs, at our 3 months, our 1 year anniversary and even wrote one and played it on my guitar when I asked her to marry me. I thought it'd be fun to do this just to be able to look back at where we've been and how things are moving.

Maybe you should consider doing the same? Give it a shot, it'll be fun!

Now, to dig up those old songs..

Goodbye CCBC

2010-08-01T15:29:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting in front of the Chapel Cafe at Calvary Chapel Downey, the place that has been my home church for the past 5 years. Almost right next to the Cafe is the small classroom I have been spending my Monday, Tuesday and Thursday nights in for the past 3 years. It's Downey's extension of the Calvary Bible College that's headquartered in Murrieta, CA.

It's crazy to think that when I started the Bible College, 6 or 7 students in a class was pretty typical. But 3 years later we are starting to outgrow this tiny room that seats about 15 people max. Some of the classes have had to be moved to our Fellowship Hall here, which is typically used as an overflow room which is meant for a few hundred. Not saying that the Fellowship Hall is full of students! But rather that we've needed a bigger room to accommodate a growing student body. A typical class can range to about 15 to 25 students now, and it isn't just Calvary Chapel Downey congregants attending these Classes, but also local Christians, some that don't even attend a Calvary Chapel. God is definitely moving in this ministry, and it bums me out a bit that I won't be able to stick around until I graduated like I had planned to. But hey, God's up to something and I can't stop that.

I thank the Lord for the opportunities I've had here. The many friendships that I have made, the growth in my knowledge of the Scriptures and in my heart Spiritually. The falling in love deeper with Jesus as I have seen His faithfulness in my life and in the life of my fellow classmates. I thank the Lord for awesome teachers who have had a tremendous impact on my life. Teachers like Bruce Baloian, Manny Coronilla, Joel Abel, Andrew Cochran and Jason Norton.

The world may see it as wasted time invested going to School because I won't finish with a degree, but I've learned plenty here and from what the Lord is showing me, my time is up here. This Bible College will always hold a special place in my heart, and I'm gonna miss it for sure.

With my Deans blessing, I've stepped down from my Internship to pursue what God has planned up ahead, and my prayer is that it is handed to someone who is sold out for Jesus. Who can't afford to pay for the Bible College but wants to be a serious student and wants the Lord to use their life.

Cheers CCBC, I'm definitely gonna miss ya!

... now, what's this I hear about no Calvary Chapel being within a 40 miles radius from Missoula? hmm... haha j/k j/k!

Let God Work!

2010-07-30T20:26:00.000-07:00

Have you noticed that in the last chapter of Acts, there's a mention of Paul renting the house he was living in? He wasn't buying or didn't buy the house, but rather he was RENTING the house. What does that say to you?

It says to me that you shouldn't settle. That you shouldn't get comfortable where God has you now and that you should be willing and ready for Him to move you around. It says to me that you should be flexible, and that if Jesus says, 'Follow Me' you wouldn't say, 'Let me first bury my father.'

Don't get into routines, don't get comfortable, let God stretch you and be willing to let Him take you places you would have never imagined. Whether geographically or spiritually.

When is the last time you Let God Work?

Miracles will be a rarity in your life unless you take a step of faith.

Today, Let God Work!

Kalispell, Montana

2010-07-22T21:24:00.001-07:00

Cons: Cold weather, slippery roads in the winter, snow'd in occasionally, no In-n-Out or Chik-fil-a

Pros: Snowboarding, Dog Sledding, Snow Mobiles, Fresh Life Church, City Revival

Two years ago Monica and I attended the Harvest Crusade at Angel Stadium. Levi Lusko was MC-ing Saturday night's crusade. I was curious to find out who he was so I looked him up when I got home. Came to find out that he's a guy from Albuquerque, NM, who moved to So Cal to help out in youth groups, then eventually moved up to Kalispell, Montana to plant a church.

I gave his studies a shot and I was instantly hooked. His teaching style was a bit different than what I was used to and I liked it. What blew me away the most at the time was the fact that he was only 1 year older than me!

He started this church in early 2007 with only 14 people attending the first service. Since then, over 2,000 have joined this Church in the small town of Kalispell. With church attendance growing, there's only so much that the established leadership can handle, so of course there would be a need for laborers.

For two years now, I got to follow this church from here in Long Beach, California, praying for them constantly and watching the Lord doing amazing work along the way. From their small upper room they started in, to their move to the Strand Theater. From their regular Wednesday night studies, to the very risky and somewhat controversial switch to something they called, "Skull Church". Hundreds have come to the Lord through this ministry and what I loved the most is the fact that they do not compromise God's word. Sure, their methods of presenting the Word is totally different than what we are used to in Calvary, but their principals are very biblical. This is my kind of Church.

I never would have thought that God would have set up for Monica and I to make a move to Montana. But the invitation from a member of the congregation sparked a fire that God wanted to light apparently.

So anyway, there you go.. KALISPELL, MONTANA will be the town that we will be calling home.

We've already set up how we're gonna move, we've already looked into apartments and have been eyeing one particular one. Right now, we're just working on setting up the wedding and going through our things deciding what we're gonna leave behind.

We really don't know what to expect when we get there, we were never promised anything by anyone ministry wise. But we believe God wants us there, whether it'd be to teach kids or shovel snow, to teach adults or to scrub toilets. One thing's for sure, we just want the Lord to use us, and we're taking steps of faith to do what we believe He called us to do, to Follow Him with no excuses.

As far as a church plant would go, we still feel led to plant a church somewhere someday, and we'll let the Lord make that happen in His time. Who knows, Fresh Life could be another training ground. We've been so blessed at our involvement at CCDOWNEY and GBF Norwalk.. the Lord has taught us a lot through these churches. But we're looking ahead at what God has planned for us with the heart to Glorify God in all things, and encouraging others to do the same.

Who knows, the Lord may decide to close doors, but all the circumstances and signs the past few months have been point North, and we believe it's time.

Anyway, here's the website to our future home church: www.freshlifechurch.com

And here's a short clip of our future Pastor doing a Q & A type thing at Skull Church:

We knew it was bound to happen someday.. pt.2

2010-07-21T16:09:00.000-07:00

June 2010, I started getting this strong impression on my heart. This huge burden about moving out of state, more intense than before.

I shared this with Monica and so we decided to pray together. We prayed about where the Lord would have us move if He had planned on moving us soon. In my prayers I have asked the Lord to consider New Mexico. To this day I love that place very much so I wouldn't have minded moving there at all. But the Lord had other plans, and He was paving the way He wanted us to go.

We started getting this random request by a friend of ours, to try moving to the city he lives in. The church he is involved in is growing and he suggested that Monica and I would consider moving there to help out.

To be honest, I really didn't feel the desire to go there. Monica suggested that we pray about going to this place anyway, so we did. And this invitation really started to look and feel like a Macedonia call, it began to drive me insane!

We took a trip to visit Monica's brother and his wife. A few days before we left, he told us that the Lord had given him something to share with us. He talked about Abraham, leaving his country and going to another place foreign to him. Her brother told us he felt the Lord was telling him to tell us we need to leave the state. He also happen to randomly mention the state that we had been praying about going to, where we got the invitation! We didn't tell anyone about us praying about leaving or even the place we were considering, we just believed it truly was from the Lord.

We flew back to California, and I was still not fully convinced. We continued to pray on it and I just started giving the Lord a bunch of excuses. I told the Lord, "I cant, I have an internship with Bible college to finish, I was just given a 5th grade class to minister, my dad just lost his job, I dont have any money". The list went on..

Then, the Lord laid on my heart a story in the bible. He reminded me of the story where Jesus told a guy to "follow Him", and this guy says, "Let me first bury my father". This blew me away! Reason being? This guy's father wasn't dead yet, this guy was making an excuse to stick to what he was comfortable with and did not want to follow Jesus. I believe God was telling me that I was making excuses. He also reminded me that there would always be a reason why I shouldn't do something. If Jesus says 'Follow Me', we have to and should follow regardless of what may be pulling us back, we just have to trust Him.

I decided to listen to a bible study on this story in the bible, and the bible teacher spoke about how God was calling him to leave his city and go elsewhere to help a church. And so many of the bible studies that I listened to (all different teachers) spoke about the same exact topic.. leaving and going somewhere new.

And so, Monica and I decided to fast for 2 days to be SURE about this. We fasted, sure enough we just knew the Lord wanted us to go. And so we told the Lord, "Ok, we're going. We'll leave and go where You want us to. But you know that we don't have the funds, and we trust that you'll provide"

... We only had $400 in our savings, but at this point we were trusting God. That He would provide for our wedding and for our move. He did that very same weekend.

The Lord put it on the heart of someone very close to us to give us thousands of dollars. This person was totally unaware of our plans, but really felt that in their heart they were suppose to give us this money. We were blown away. We shared with this person what was going on, and how we were relying on the Lord to provide the funds. This person says, "I figured you would use this for something like that.

The next few weeks Monica and I were super excited. I spoke to 4 of my Pastors to get their perspective (including the ones that I work under in ministry) and they all totally see it and are encouraging it! Monica and I have spoken to our parents and siblings and they see it! We have their blessings and support as well!

So, we've been planning our wedding.. (EDIT: We are working on the date still!!) About a week later we will be moving to where God is calling us to go. We don't know what to expect, all we know at this point is that we're just suppose to show up and let the Lord do His work.

Awesome thing about this is that the Lord has been talking to us often about this plan He has for us, reassuring us and encouraging us when we have doubts or start to feel fearful.

We ask that you keep us in prayer about this and yes, we will miss you all!

So.. I bet you would like to know where we're moving right?

... I'll save that for the next blog :)

We knew it was bound to happen someday.. pt.1

2010-07-20T16:17:00.000-07:00

Remember the story where God had told Abram to leave his country and head somewhere totally foreign and new? I always think about how freaked out he had to have been to leave a place that he had been living in all his life. How freaked out he had to have been to leave behind his friends and close family members. And if he were anything like me, how freaked out he might have been thinking about the possibility that where he is going may not have all of his favorite foods!What would you think if God told you to 'Leave' the land that you're used to for a place that you've never been to? How would you feel? Today I am one of the many that can answer that question and give you a genuine answer: Terrified.

It all started in 2007

My fiance's brother was getting married. We lived in sunny California while him and his woman lived in Louisiana. I remember freaking out about the plane ride we would have to take in order to make it to their wedding. I did eventually get on that plane though, keeping all my nerves and anxieties to myself, constantly praying. We eventually made it and I fell in love with the place. The culture of the people was totally different than Cali, very friendly, easy going and their food was beyond amazing! The Pastor that married them found out that I was attending a Bible College and offered me an internship when I would finish. I never really thought about it but I would tease Monica about moving to Louisiana. She'd freak out, and it was really fun teasing her about it.

A Promise in 2007

I took my first trip to New Mexico with Monica and her family. Her parents bought a house out there to retire in and I totally fell in love with this place. The desert-like look, the adobe homes, the Food! Not to leave out the awesome church that they have in albuquerque led by Pastor Skip Heitzig!

I began to take more trips in 2007 to other states, one was Utah for a business trip my job sent me on. It was after I took all these trips that I began to wonder why it was that I was visiting so many states in so little amounts of times, when all my life I had never even left California. (Well, I had been to TJ, Mexico, but does that even count?).

As I was thinking about all this, asking the Lord about it, I felt a strong impression in my heart that I was so sure it was the Lord. He spoke to my heart and said that I will one day leave California for another state and plant a church. I was so blown away by this that I started bawling. Years before, within the first week that I got saved God had let me know that I was going to be a Pastor, I never would have thought that part of His plan was to plant a church through me.

And so I've held on to the promise of leaving California, waiting, praying, wondering for the past 3 years what God was going to do, when it was going to happen. I had eventually got to the point where I gave up on a dream I was so convinced God had given me.. especially lately. I eventually got to the point where I was ready to accept that I was never going to leave California.. that Monica and I would one day get married and raise our family here. I began to become content with being here.. but boy was my world rocked at this point.. man how I freaked out when God came and moved in major ways..